


Anything But Normal Smut/AKA Tales From The Discord

by GamblinGamer



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Basically A huge orgy, Basically Every Kink Known to man, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Drunk Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, EVERYONE is here - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humiliation, I wrote this because josh wouldn’t, In a way, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Semi-Public Sex, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Underage Drinking, Yaoi, You will hate it, but that’s kinda the point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:14:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22233865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GamblinGamer/pseuds/GamblinGamer
Summary: This is basically smut based on people i’m in a discord server with, It is going to contain every kink known to man probably, and going to be terrible because I don’t know how to write. I blame derp for this entire thing. For the purposes of this fic’s existence we all live in a random Floridian city
Relationships: Alucard/GNiko, Alucard/Grimm, Alucard/Grimm/GNiko, Alucard/Iron, Derp/Grimm, GNiko/Snowy
Kudos: 6





	1. "Beating" the Heat (Bomb Threat)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a thing that exists now because of me and I’m not sorry in the slightest. This chapter is "Bomb Threat" (Alu x Niko)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a hot day, so Niko and Alu decide to go to the pool, and lewdness ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thing that exists now because of me and I’m not sorry in the slightest. This chapter is "Bomb Threat" (Alu x Niko)

It was a hot summer day, somewhere around the 85s, people from all over flocked to pools everywhere, desperate to escape the heat, including everyone from the discord. Niko had invited Alu to join him at the pool, because he didn't want to be bored at the pool all by his lonesome. After meeting up, they decide to head to the pool, making small talk along the way.

"I can't believe you actually have a Megumin Bathing suit" Alu said. "Well you're not much better with the My Hero ones!" Niko replied. "Look can we just agree that we're both nerds?" He asked. "Fine," Alu agreed begrudgingly. “It’s way too fucking hot out today.” Niko complained. “Man I wish we lived in Canada or some shit.” Alu replied. “Didn’t Dani used to live in Canada?” “Yeah I think she did.”

They chatted in a similar caliber until they reached the pool right outside of Niko’s apartment building. “Alright, now this should be enough to cool us off!” Niko exclaimed while getting into the pool filled with renewed energy. “Looks like we’re the only ones here.” Alu noticed while getting in himself. “Seems like most people decided to take to the beaches.” “Actually we should probably get everyone together and hit the beach one of these days.” ( ~~Ooh, Fore Shadowing~~ ) “That’s actually a pretty good idea.” Niko replied. “What do we do, now that we’re here?” Alu asked. “We wade, relax, chill, et cetera.” 

And so they did, that is until Niko “waded” too close to a filter, and his bathing suit was ripped clean off as a result revealing his naked body, while Alu turns to see this sight as it happens. “Oh shit!” He yells. “Hey, what the fuck just happened?” Alu asks, while trying to look away. “The filter ate my fucking shorts!” Niko shouts. “Wait really?” Alu turns around to see that _it is_ true, while also seeing through the water Niko’s 8 inch cock, glistening in the chlorine filled water. Alu for some reason he couldn’t quite explain, even to himself, he was mesmerized by the sight before him: Niko standing in the pool, embarrassed, and completely exposed. Niko notices Alu staring at his naked frame and responds accordingly, “What, do you want a piece of this?” He gestures to himself. Alu hesitates when giving his answer, “N-N-No, of course not.” “You don’t sound so sure.” Alu himself wasn’t so sure. “Well what would you do if I did?” He asked condescendingly. “Well how about I show you?” Niko teased, moving Alu’s hand toward his cock. “Haha funny joke” Alu said pathetically. Then when their eyes met and they realized that this _wasn’t_ a joke anymore. They were actually gonna go through with this. Alu starts to move his hand up and down Niko's shaft as they stare each other down, and as such Niko lets out out a soft groan of pleasure. "Mmn~" Still looking into each other's eyes, Niko leans in and moves his mouth towards Alu's, as they started melting in each other's mouths. Eventually they made their way out of the pool and onto a pool chair smashing their mouths together the entire time, with Niko on top of the chair and Alu on top of him. When they break away from each other leaving a trail of saliva between their mouths, "I've never done this before, so I hope you aren't expecting much." Alu panted between breaths. "That's fine." Niko responds. As he moves Alu's head toward his Rock-hard cock, Alu takes his partner's manhood in his hands as he starts to take some of it into his mouth, while he works his hands up and down the rest of it. As Niko struggles to keep his moans down. "Mnnghh~" Alu starts to take more and more into his mouth as he bobs his head up and down Niko's shaft, eventually going so fast as to make very loud and lewd slurping sounds. Eventually it wasn't long before... "UNNNGH FUCK!" Niko grabs Alu's head and holds him down on his cock while he cums down his throat, while Alu's eyes roll back into his head, as Niko sends load after load into his stomach. _Eventually_ , Niko finished and pulled out of Alu's mouth, and they both start panting. "Got another one in you?" Alu begged, while gesturing to his bent over ass. Niko upon seeing this sight feels himself being immediately reinvigorated, and gets hard yet again. He spurts some sunscreen onto his hands and rubs it in, after doing so starts working his fingers into Alu's entrance as Alu moans out in pleasure "Ahnn~". After he's all loosened up Niko pulls out his fingers, and almost in an instant slams his cock in Alu down to the hilt pounding Alu's prostate, Alu then immediately cums from pure pleasure "AHNN~". Niko leaves him no time to recover as he starts unrelentingly pounding Alu's boypussy, the slaps of his hips hitting Alu's ass incredibly audible. Alu is barely done with his first before he's hit with a second orgasm, "AUUUHHH~". Hearing all of this, Niko doesn't last much longer, and screams "I'm gonna cum!", Alu responds by shouting, "FILL ME, FILL MY HOLE!", as they both cum one final time. Niko pulls out leaving Alu's gaping hole filled and leaking cum.

They take a few moments to collect themselves, and realize how weird what they just did was. They look at each other and make a silent agreement to never talk about what had just happened ever, but they would both always remember, and there’s no way Alu would ever forget Niko’s big kawaii cock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna join me (and others) in our insanity you can do so. https://discord.gg/N73ZDjz


	2. Sin Martini (Iron Man)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long night, (and a lot of drinking) Alu and Iron retire to the upstairs part of Gamb’s house, and in their inebriated state, lewd things are bound to ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iron Man (Alu x Iron)  
> It took me way too long to start writing this chapter after finishing the last one. I started writing this on March 24th. Anyways if you do like this shitshow, leave me ideas for scenarios in the comments, I am pretty much out of ideas for situations to put these people in to, and please make them vague if possible.

It was a typical Mardi Gras weekend, Gamb had invited everyone to his house to get **ABSOLUTELY SMASHED** , as per usual. Only a handful of people had shown up, Alu, Iron, Niko, Spud, Josh, Ren, Dani, (Because you know they would show up anywhere as long as drugs or alcohol is involved) and Grimm. Calypso was too busy fucking his dog or some shit to show up. The party had just wrapped up, in the sense that most everyone was too trashed to continue. Josh had just gone home early so not to get too shitfaced. Niko was passed out on the couch, _without his pants on for some reason._ Spud and Grimm were in the corner, holding each other, crying about the ending of Doom Eternal. Gamb was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, still drinking. Ren and Dani were asleep spooning in the closet, after having made out for the last 15 minutes. Finally, Alu and Iron went upstairs to look for a decent place to crash, not wanting to just pass out just anywhere, like most of the other guests. "Zaat' party was fffffucking awwsome." Alu slurred out of nowhere, him being the less drunk of the pair, _but not by much._ "I ttthink overr heeere's gamb's roooooom~" Iron said incredibly slowly and sensually, pointing to Gamb's room, followed by a slight chuckle. Alu found Iron's tone weird but shrugged it off, just chalking it up to him being incredibly drunk. Iron leads Alu into Gamb's room and jumps onto the decently big, king sized bed directly in the middle of the room. Iron then beckons Alu with his finger to join him on the bed. It's at this point that Alu decides to question Iron about how he's acting. "Oooohhkaayyy, waaht izz upp wiith youu right noww?" "Hwat d'yoiu meaaan?" Iron replies, with a seductive look on his face. “Yoou’ve jusss beeeen acttting weirdly secccksual an ssstufff” Alu rushes out, blushing due to the nature of the topic. “Shhhhheah, Ayyym jusss rreallly hoooorny alllllllllll the time, I jusss donnn’t rrreallly sshhhhhow itt, buuuuttt jusss fuckkk it y’knoww?” “uhhhhhHh…” Alu is visibly taken aback by Iron’s response, not expecting something so lewd to come from him. Iron lying on the bed pats right next to him, inviting Alu to come and join him. “I duunnno…” Alu reacts, weighing his options, _at least as well as he can given how drunk he is._ It’s then that Iron reaches and pulls Alu onto the bed with him, after regaining himself laying on top of Iron, and staring into his lust filled, wanting eyes Alu can’t hold himself back. Starting to take his shirt off, as Iron does the same, after finishing they start sloppily making out, Alu’s tongue exploring Iron’s alcohol flavored mouth, clearly taking the dominating position, as they moan into each other’s mouths, baring all to each other, not knowing how to hold back. Iron letting his own tongue being pushed around by Alu’s, feeling up his back, as he pulls him in as tight as possible, with his partner doing the same. They don’t even notice Ren opening the door, looking for the bathroom, wanting to clean all of Dani’s lip stick off her face, before she realizes what’s happening, eyes widening, and grinning she slowly closes the door. They keep going at this for a few minutes while slowly undressing, focusing more on the “kiss” than the task at hand, after a while they are both fully disrobed, rolling over to put Iron on top, sitting on top of Alu, he grabs Alu’s slowly growing erection, making Alu quickly groan in pleasure, before slowly working his shaft with his hand, stroking up and down with a slow but meaningful pace. Alu’s groans growly slightly louder and more frequent, slowly inching closer and closer to his climax, but right before reaching it, Iron suddenly stops. “Zeree’s NOOOO wayyyayyy aahhym gonnaaa beee shhatisfffied wittt jusssht THAT.” He lays on top of Alu, kissing him, his lips slowly making their way down his body, before stopping at his dick, planting his lips on the tip of his shaft. After giving his tip a nice long kiss, Iron pulls off to just admire Alu’s 7-inch dick, he does this for a few moments before, taking him into his mouth, stopping about halfway down, Alu’s groans turn into full-on moans that anyone with a keen ear could hear quite easily. Iron looks up at his lover, before slowly coming up to the tip, then slamming back down again, this time making it a bit farther, Iron repeats this pattern multiple times until he makes it all the way down. At which point Alu’s face looks like he just inhaled 3 warheads, due to the sheer pleasure he’s being given. So naturally it isn’t long before Alu screams, “OHHH GODDDD I’M GONNNA CUMMMMMNM”, luckily not waking everyone in the house, as he cums straight down Iron’s throat, filling him, Iron being unable to take it all backs off his cock a bit and takes the rest into his mouth, puffing his cheeks from the sheer amount, before swallowing it all. Afterward, Iron still not satisfied himself, looks to his partner to find that he’s passed out, _they were both insanely drunk after all._ He crawls next to Alu, kisses him on the forehead, and whispers, “Nexxxxs timmee, then. Sweet Dreams.” He lays next to him and falls asleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again you can join our insanity here: https://discord.gg/N73ZDjz

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna join me (and others) in our insanity you can do so. https://discord.gg/N73ZDjz


End file.
